Have you ever counted the number of thoughts you are having? Or even attempted to count your thoughts? I tried this morning and counted three, then I gave up. I took some time to notice the content of what was going through my head.
Each image that came into my mind and then back out would produce a spark of energy that would course through my body. Some of the energy was positive, another energy was negative. I concluded that negative energy acts as fuel, but I don’t want to be fueled by negative energy.
I will say this, that negative energy that I generate gets me moving; it is fuel. I am productive, accomplishing the goals and tasks that I set out each day. Still, negative energy is attached to outcomes, driving me towards a desirable outcome.
For example, if you are running from a bear or Frankenstein’s monster, you are trying to outrun the monster and the bear. I may succeed, or you may succeed, but both of us will be tired. Being tired in the hope of living and not being attacked by a bear is a good thing. If the bear get’s you, that is a bad thing. If the monster catches up to you it is a bad thing. The expectation and the story I am telling is that an interaction with a bear or a monster isn’t going to end well for me , and the odds of it being a positive interaction aren’t high.
The reality is a bear isn’t chasing me. I am sitting at my computer at 6:55am, working on my daily blog post.
I don’t need the fear of being caught by a Bear to motivate me to write. Nothing bad is going to happen if I fail to post to my blog today.
I do have an exam that I am studying for this week. I do need to have a sense of urgency when I am studying.
The issue is, I don’t want to be fueled by the thoughts of a bear chasing me, or the fear of failure, or the shame of being made fun of, when you have spent the majority of your life using fear as your fuel, is it possible to switch to a new fuel?