“ I need a safe place.” I hear that term daily. I also hear the term debated. Not all of it is positive. Or I hear a request, I need so and so to be a safe person.
I paused for a minute. Is it. A good or a bad thing that we have to make a request for a place to be safe?
The expectation of safety isn’t irrational. The request for safety, to me that reveals a fissure a tiny crack.
Lack of trust.
As a host, if I have to promise safety as a reassurance, am I really a safe person?
Am I approaching the event, the situation, and hoping that I can remain safe throughout the experience?
If I am a participant am I bringing in past hurts and pain from other experiences?
The request for a safe place is being made because somewhere, somehow, trust was broken.
The response to the request is not to do the opposite; it could be tempting to request wildness or reckless abandon in a situation.
I am offering an alternative. I am offering trust. Calling yourself to practice what you preach and what you expect of others. Bind it to yourself first.
To create a safe place, I need to be a safe person. A person who strives for consistency. I need to be aware that mistakes will happen, then be willing to own them, and atone for them, even to makes amends if needed.
To embrace what is hard and seek to work on paths forward when the road appears to be blocked.
Perhaps the request is not for the place or person to be safe. The opportunity we have is to work to be a person that other people can trust.