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Mystify

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D.J was sitting in the corner at the rehearsal dinner waiting for it to start. He wished he had brought in the book he was reading, but felt that it would look pretentious to be isolating himself in the corner reading. He looked up in time to see one of his close friends Freddy walked in the hall.

“Where’s the bridesmaid I am walking with, and how big is she?” This was how Freddy made is an entrance to the rehearsal dinner. Crude and loud and perhaps misogynistic is how modern eyes would interpret this statement. He had literally just body-shamed on of Laura’s bridesmaids. DJ thought that Jennifer would be the one Freddy would be walking down the aisle with. Jenny was a bit portly, she had given birth to two children. Most of their graduating class had gone to college only to fail out a year into it. Another percentage ran up credit card debt, yet somehow managed to cross the finish line with a degree. A few others went to community college, which was really an extension of high school. Some went to work at the local dive bar waiting tables or loading trucks at the freight company. Short money early is not something you considered. Right now my future self is congratulating me on completing college and not being in the group that loaded trucks. That day DJ knew nothing of body shaming, he laughed as he heard Freddy’s comments. It was good to see Freddie. He hasn’t seen him in several months. It was great to be back home. Hanging around with his old friends.

INXS was soothing to him, the lyrics spoke to his heart-If you want to feel a bit of whar DJ is feeling listen to the song here.  DJ was attempting to leave his broken heart behind. He no idea what an almond look was. Thought that day, he stood mystified because his Laura was about to marry his best friend, Travis. Neither of them knew the resentment and bitterness that was brewing in his heart towards the both of them. DJ has hidden his feelings for Laura. Tonight he would act friendly and prepare to celebrate with them.

Wedding rehearsals can either be mundane or fun, depending on your perspective. Though its best to keep your view to yourself. I am sure most people aren’t having fun at wedding rehearsals, but they wouldn’t dare mention it. Superstition rules the day. For example, there is a stand-in bride. Another woman will stand in place for the bride. Yet you never see a stand-in groom. I guess a stand-in groom would defeat the purpose of having a rehearsal. DJ and weddings made him think about The Godfather.

After the Rehearsal was over, everyone would head over to the town banquet hall to have salad and pasta and wish everyone well. Later perhaps the men would go out for a bachelor party, and the women would go try in dresses. Someone would freak out because the dress wouldn’t fit. Yet, it would all come together somehow. So there was a DJ. He went to dinner and sat at the table meant for the wedding party. Freddy was joking about his latest job venture, and Dennis was eyeing one of the bridesmaid’s mother. Which was really bizarre because she was 20 years his senior. Icky and weird all the way around. DJ got up to look for a bathroom. As he strolled by, he walked through the bar and looked up at the TV, hoping to catch a baseball game.

The TV instead had the Soap Opera General Hospital on. This is very strange, he thought. General Hospital is on at 2 in the afternoon. What in the world! He looked at the screen and saw Sonny and Carley fighting. DJ has been a fan of General Hospital since he was a boy. His grandmother would watch the soaps, and he would lie and the floor and watch them as well. I mean, what else was there to do? DJ was familiar with all the main characters on the show. He recalls Luke and Laura, The Cassadines, Robert Scorpio, Holly, Anna Devane. All of the
Love triangles, and of course, no one ever died on a soap opera and stayed dead. You could always count on a person returning from the afterlife in some shape or form.

Yet there was Sonny Corinthos and Jason Morgan( Quartermaine) standing in front of him. Sony spoke first, “I don’t know where you came from or who you think you are, but you don’t talk to my wife.” Wow DJ’s mind was racing, he would’ve never have chosen Carly as a romantic interest at all. She wasn’t his type. Way too high maintenance, plus she had an affair with her mom’s husband. Her and Sonny were a mess of a couple, and she had this odd relationship with Jason, and Jason’s brother AJ now Sonny. She got around. Later she would also have connections with Jax, and another man, who’s name couldn’t come to mind.

He couldn’t punk out to Sonny, and the crazy thing was he still had his rehearsal dinner outfit on. He decided to show off. He looked Sonny dead in the eye and said this. She’s my wife now. I am taking her to my friend’s wedding tomorrow, pack her stuff, and I will have someone pick it up”.

Then to increase his street cred, he threw a left hook and hit Sonny in the mouth. Sonny fell backward, Jason and Max grabbed DJ, Sonny pulled out a gun and stuck it in his mouth.

DJ looked up at Sonny, but instead saw the bottom of the toilet, his shirt was stained in puke and Freddy was standing behind him. He was back at the Rehearsal He was in the bathroom and had no idea how he got there. Freddy bent down to talk to him, “Dude, what in the world”? You haven’t had anything to drink. DJ looked around stunned. “It must have been the chicken he ate.

Freddy shook his head. Come on, you have been drinking, right? Just like the old days? I thought you had given it up, but you still have a little lizard in you. The lizard was the name everyone in the crew had given each other. Freddy handed him a paper towel to wipe his face. “that shirt is a mess” “You should just go out the back.” Freddy gave him some more paper towels to sip his face. “I am going to go talk with Merissa, you know how it goes, drink to she’s cute.

Wow.
DJ shook his head; the misogyny runs deep in this one, he thought to himself.
He turned to answer Freddy, but he was gone. He stood up and started to head to the door. He started walking towards the door, but the more he walked, the further away the door seemed to be, everything went black, and when he opened his eyes, he was lying on a couch. The room was nice, it’s seemed to be a penthouse. He looked around, and he saw Carly from General Hospital staring at him .” You can’t be here,”! She threw his jacket at him. “You need to get out” She began pacing around the room. He stood up, he might as well give the crowd watching a show. “Sonny and his lapdog are on there way here” DJ stood up, and took off his jacket, he heard a bang on the door, and the. He heard Sonny’s voice. “I am coming in Carly, I am going to kill that piece of garbage, the door was kicked in, Sonny, Jason, and Max stormed in. DJ ran over and grabbed Carley, Sonny , Jason, and Max stopped. DJ really that if he were in a dream, he might as well go with it and have some fun.

“DJ held Carley who was squirming, he looked at the trio and exclaimed in a loud voice, “I told you, she is my wife now. Then he planted a kiss on Carley, next by some sort of instinct he pulled a gun out of his pocket aimed it at Sonny and pulled the trigger.

The room went black, Carley faded away, the walls of the penthouse melt and suddenly the walls were gone, he was surrounded by trees, in the background he heard the sound of a running river. In front of him was a throne, no one sat one it. He listened to a voice, coming from the throne. “Step forward,” you have passed the first test,” you have passed the first test? DJ thought to himself, couldn’t you have come up with something better than that? That was so cheesy, so terrible, in fact. What in the world kind of statement was that?

DJ was feeling himself; for some reason, being in this weird dream-like world made him feel super – confident.
DJ heard in the distant, INXS was playing -“He heard the following lyrics- You’re eternally wild with the power
To make every moment come alive
All those stars that shine upon you
Well they’ll kiss you every night
Mystify
Mystify me
Mystify
Mystify me”

A cloud floated over his head. The cloud hovered over the Throne and began to take the form of a woman, then a man, then a dog, then a bear, and finally a unicorn. A white unicorn with a rainbow mane, and a gold horn. Greetings DJ! Welcome to the Multiverse. Where life can be anything you choose, and anything has chosen you. Would you like a snack, the unicorn bent over to poop, as much as other people enjoyed the idea of a unicorn pooping multi-colored ice cream, he didn’t. Anything coming out of the rectal area of any animal was not fit for consumption. The unicorn sat down on his throne. No, No, No!!! It just isn’t true. An urban legend, in fact .” Us unicorns don’t poop rainbows” DJ instantly tensed up, Could he read my thoughts?

The unicorn sat up and walked over to a cabinet, he opened it up and pulled out a McRib and some fries. I know that you like these. DJ grabbed the McRib and the fries and sat down. Suddenly a table appeared, and in front of him on the table was a book and a newspaper. “the unicorn responded, “I know that you like to read when you eat, so I got a paper for you, A New York Times and a non-fiction book. Wow, DJ thought. How considerate of you. This was one lovely unicorn.

The unicorn changed shape once again, and this time it was in the form of an older woman too old to be romantically interested in but too young to be his mom.

“As I said, in the multiverse, you can do and be anything you want.” My name is Akemi. I was born in 1878 in China, my parents moved to the US, to San Francisco. My father worked on the railroad and my mother took in laundry. In 1928, I was reading a book on a corner, it was after lunchtime. When suddenly I found myself in Missouri on a raft with two boys and an African American man.

DJ stopped, you were with Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer? “yes and there slave Jim, well I floated down the river with them, and they dropped me off at a cabin. The cabin opened up into a forest, and a unicorn offered me a snack, a hot dog. I had heard about hot dogs in the paper, but we never had any. The unicorn presented me with the same opportunity I am offering you with. DJ took a bite of his McRib, wow this was an awesome McRib. The sauce was scintillating, the onions and pickles made him feel comfortable, and the fries felt like a warm hug on a winter day. He swallowed all the sweetness down and felt a rush of dopamine flow through his body. He smiled.
“I am offering you a job in the multiverse. We hope you will say yes.

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