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DJ joins the Multiverse

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DJ joins the Multiverse does two things. It introduces us to the character DJ and it attempts to explain how he ended up working in the multiverse. If you get confused that is ok. Just leave me some feedback and I will work on making the story more clear. This is an experiment. This excerpt was written in November during NaNoWriMo. Listen to Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen as you read for a more immersive experience.

 

Have you ever taken the time to really think about the lyrics at the beginning of Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen? They are pretty graphic. The song begins with these words- “Momma just killed a man.” Put a gun to his head, pulled the trigger now he’s dead.”

Freddie Mercury is the only person in the universe who could sing about cold-blooded murder and make someone feel better. When you pause and let the lyrics sink in, you realize this is some tragic stuff going on. You have a child witnessing their mom blow someone’s head off.

I mean, imagine this. Doesn’t it sound so peaceful? The way Freddy sings it? Have you ever sat back and thought, this is awful. This is horrible. Just imagine right before momma pulls the trigger, what was the person doing?  Is the person begging for their life? Who is the momma shooting? Dad? Abusive lover? Later on, he sings momma I don’t want to die, life has just begun! That, to me, means that momma was about to turn the gun on him. Bohemian Rhapsody is sort of what the multiverse was designed for.  DJ worked in it.

 DJ was a multivertician. Basically, a technician who worked in the multiverse.  DJ would have the ability to jump into a multiverse, and talk momma off the ledge. So momma doesn’t kill a man. The first rule of the multiverse and there are many, is this. Multiverse jumping isn’t time travel. DJ just creates a new reality. One where momma gets counseling.

 

Take it this way. If I live in Georgia and you live in Los Angeles, it is 8pm in Georgia before it is 8pm in California. So at 8pm in Georgia, the latest episode of Will and Grace comes on, and at six o’clock, you are watching the news. At eight o’clock in California, Will and Grace come on. Same episode different times but we all experience it at 8pm. That is a loose interpretation of the multiverse. Isn’t it fun to be preposterous? Hey, if Freddie Mercury gets cusps for singing about a mom blowing off someone’s head, then I can explain the multiverse using time zones.

DJ had worked for the Multiversity for almost 20 years. Perhaps you are wondering how does one gets a job at the Multiversity?

First, the multiverse would begin to track you. It would find a innocent, creative mind, one that was still open to possibility, a heart that was sensitive to others, willing to help. The multiverse had been watching DJ for a few years, and now the multiverse was ready for him. But the question was? Was DJ available for the multiverse? Time would find out. Time would reveal all. Well, it must have worked out.

The multiverse comes to you through what you enjoy. DJ was a product of mass media, he grew up watching TV, Cartoons like Tom and Jerry, Looney Tunes, He-man, and The Thundercats he would watch them when he arrived home from school. Saturday mornings were filled with cartoons. The superfriends, Godzilla, Spiderman. Cheesy episodes of Batman. Christmas was the best. The TV was filled with Cartoons, The Night before Christmas with the mice that built the clocks, Rudolph, Charlie Brown, Yogi Bear, The A-Team was a show all the kids in his class would watch. It came on Monday, Nights, and on Tuesday, every boy in his class would act out scenes from the episode. 

 DJ during playtime was cast as BA, the Mr. T character. Years later, he would come to know that George Peppard had been cast opposite Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. DJ’s mom was born the same year as Audrey Hepburn so he felt a bond with Audrey. Hannibal. Such a cool name for Vietnam Vets who went on missions, around the country helping out the downtrodden. The TV was a friend to DJ, he just watched it, he didn’t think it was a pain reliever or anything outside the norm. It was just a constant companion. TV would be how the multiverse found DJ. This is how it began.

DJ was in graduate school studying theology. He had a part-time job teaching speech to high school students who were homeschooled. Every Wednesday afternoon, he would head to the home of the Newborn family. The mom was a stay at home housewife who taught the children by day, and the dad was an executive for an Evangelical magazine Christianity Monthly. It was a pretty easy gig. He would sit at a long table and show children how to make arguments. Then teach them how to defend the cases they made. All seemed pretty straightforward. He would simply sit at the table, and the students would create the arguments.

 The team ended up being pretty good. Two of them made the national homeschool tournament in Virginia. He took a flight to the convention and prepared to coach his students.

 One night after the days’ debate, DJ went back to his room to prepare for dinner. He showered and came out and put on a change of clothes. He turned on the television and begin to flip through the channels, looking for a sporting event, or some cheesy movie to pass the time. He turned on Sex in the City. He had never watched an episode before and was curious as to what all the buzz was about.

 As he sat down to watch, he got caught up in Sarah Jessica Parker strutting around New York City, getting in and out of cars, going to eat at lovely places, and meeting new men. The show bored him, and he wanted to change it, he looked around the room for the remote. Yet didn’t see it anywhere. He tossed the sheets of the bed, but nothing, he looked underneath the mattress, still no remote. HMMM. Where could it be? 

 He decided to just turn off the tv and head down to dinner. He walked over to the TV and went to turn it off. As he extended a hand towards the power button, he grabbed one more look at Sarah Jessica Parker. When he looked, she spoke to him. “Hi DJ” It was rather bizarre, what were the chances that on an episode of Sex and the City, there would be a character named DJ? He went back to the power button, his hand could’ t move, and he suddenly felt very dizzy. The room began to spin, and he felt as if he were standing outside of his body looking in, he began to fall, his body hit the floor of the room. It was 6:30pm.

 He woke up and opened his eyes, he was in a cab, maybe he was being transported to a hospital. All he remembered was passing out. That had to be it. He turned to his right, and there was Sarah Jessica Parker, well Carrie Bradshaw, and Kim Catrall, well not really, it was Samanta Jones. Samantha Jones was the name of the woman played by Sarah Jessica Parker. 

“DJ, so glad you could join us! “Carrie spoke to him first, Samantha answered next “Where would you like to go for dinner ?” How do you answer a question like that? First, you wake up in a cab with two cast members from Sex in the City. Obviously, this had to be a dream, it felt so real. Though. Yet he didn’t know how to answer. He had never been to New York City. This was 1999, so he didn’t have access to a cell phone to do a search for places to eat in New York City, all he could think of was Mcdonalds, he had a craving for a McRib sandwich. McRibs were a go-to comfort food when he felt anxious. The smell of warm french fries, the kaiser roll, and a fake slab of pork smothered in sauce, with two pickles and a few onion slices, was precisely what he needed at the time. Mcdonalds, he blurted out. Carrie looked without even blinking, she said to the driver, take us to the nearest McDonalds, the driver turned around, and it was Derek Jeter of the Yankees driving the cab. Didn’t Jeter have a game? This was far too trippy to deal with. He closed his eyes, and Samantha and Carrie bantered about purses, and their relationship wows. They pulled up at the Mcdonalds, and he got out of the car. He turned to them and asked if they wanted anything. He figured it was the proper thing to do. Be a gentleman and all. They declined his offer, laughed, and then Jeter speed off in the cab.

 A homeless man came over to him and reached out his hand. DJ went into his pocket, looking for a donation, the homeless-looking man, laughed and as he laughed, his mouth revealed robust gold teeth. He handed DJ a stack of McDonald’s gift certificates. Again this is the 90’s. Gift Card wasn’t really a thing, but Mcdonald’s gift certificates were as good as cash; they came out at Halloween and at Christmas, but you could get them throughout the year.

 The multiverse had been watching DJ for a few years, and now the multiverse was ready for him. But the question was? Was DJ available for the multiverse? Time would find out. Time would reveal all. 

Here are some pictures of rocks. I took them on a neighborhood walk. They are a symbol of all the possible universes in existence.

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